This week’s word: Support
Do you know if your support is helping or hurting?
I think it’s very easy to confuse being of support to someone with the need to soothe their suffering, when in fact, that may not be our job and could be doing more harm than good.
I once had a dear friend who suffered from alcoholism. Often I would get calls from her crying and in a panic because she was sick, depressed or in another terrible relationship. Immediately, I would jump in and tell her what to do, how to do it and when. The only problem was she never listened and consequently nothing ever changed. In fact, she would get angry with me because she thought I didn’t think she was a good person and I was always trying to change her…that is… until I wised up and stopped supporting her whims and started supporting her experience.
One day I realized I couldn’t save my friend from herself and it was in that moment I had to shift what I thought of as support.
The support she needed no longer meant coddling to her while trying to convince her that what she was doing was wrong (as if I had the right to judge). It meant allowing her to have her experience regardless of what I thought because she obviously needed something in it that I didn’t understand.
The universe is vast and life is simply about experience and coming to know one set of circumstances verses another…and because of this…there is no right and no wrong…there simply IS…so to witness a person in what IS their life, is the greatest support you can offer them.
Interestingly, when I (and others) stopped supporting my friend by trying to tell her what to be and started witnessing her and allowing her to be, she became clean and sober completely on her own.
It may be time to check our need to “fix” the people around us through the support of our beliefs, ideas and agendas.
Become the observer and support people in witnessing their experience and let them show you who they really are!
Clairvoyant medium and life strategist helping you learn to be the TRUE YOU!