As human beings, when dealing with people or life situations our focus is usually tuned into what we can see, feel and touch, or a combination of all three. These concepts make sense to the brain and offer the most immediate feedback on the pulse of our social interactions. But how often have you noticed random emotions or feelings coming out of no where? Have a sense of anxiety or fear that you didn’t have an hour ago? Or maybe even a sense of sadness that had no real trigger?
In these cases they may not actually be your feelings at all, but you may be feeling them as a result of interacting with someone else. This energy exchange happens unconsciously most of the time, especially if you are an open person who is also energetically sensitive. However, spending your life in a constant sense of dread or fear someone might “pawn something off on you” is not a life, it’s a fearful existence. So instead of living in fear and isolating yourself, learn simple tools to manage energy boundaries that are easy to incorporate into every day living.
The Hot Potato: Is This “Stuff” yours or Mine?
One of the simplest ways to tell if you are carrying the emotional or energetic burden of another is to get quiet for a few minutes and tune into your own energy. Then simply ask yourself if what you are feeling or thinking is yours, or if it belongs to someone else. If you are clear on what a yes or no feels like in your body, the answer is obvious and you can use whatever tools you have to release those energetic ties. Even some of the most seasoned practitioners forget to ask themselves this question at times, and it’s one of the most important steps in making sure your energy is clear as possible.
If you are a beginner at working with energy, it’s important to tune into the feelings themselves. If you feel very anxious when there is no real trigger or it’s not normal for you, that could be a clue. I also find spaciness, mental fog and lack of focus are big indicators that you are carrying around something extra that may not necessarily be yours, especially when it comes on suddenly.
There are lots of great tools and insights from energy practitioners around the world on how to manage your energetic space, so it’s best to try a few and see what works for you consistently. Of course, The Clairvoyant Path by Michelle DesPres is a fantastic place for energy healers that don’t know how their quantum reality works and beginners to learn tools and ways to practice to become more comfortable working with every day energy, especially the grounding exercise.
Personally, I clear and balance my chakras first, and then I envision a set of mirrors facing outward around myself, sort of like I’m in the center of a disco ball. This way it sets that energetic intention of reflecting back to others what they put out, and enables them to examine and deal with it instead of unknowingly pushing it on others.
First Things First: Getting In Tune with You
The most critical step for energy management is to be clear on and understand your own energy and personal triggers. With inner clarity, you are able to more easily spot when something feels off or strange. Is this something that you master in an afternoon and use as a guideline for a lifetime? Not exactly. It’s an evolving process that will change and grow with your as your own spiritual awareness does, and that’s why it’s important to make a habit to check in and work with your own energy awareness.
Get clear on how you want to interact with other people’s energy. Keep track of consistent feelings when hanging out with the same person. It may be a one off situation because they are going through something or it could be consistent. If you notice a pattern that makes you feel “off” or uncomfortable after spending time with them, you may need to make some different choices or take steps to do a clearing after being around them.
Be the example for how you want others to interact with you. Keep your energy in check and be respectful, and also be clear when someone’s behavior is not appropriate with you.
Be realistic and take responsibility. Of course there are times when emotions come up, unprovoked, as part of a healing process. It’s all part of the personal journey and is to be expected. At the same time, you need to own them in order to release them, and they cannot be pushed out onto others. When this happens, it’s time to get into a space of reflection that feels comfortable for you. That could be yoga, meditation, exercise, camping, bike riding, knitting – however you can get into a state of relaxation and openness in thinking about yourself.
We are at a point in time when people are yearning for a different path and a way to find their unique place along it. By simply taking the time to notice and manage your own energy and efforts differently, you are making a great contribution that is positive for us all.